Day 7 - Memory - Project Capture Your Grief

Day 7 - Memory {Capture Your Grief Project} - this photo was taken 9/1/14. I had gotten everything ready for Emma to be here. The caption read "old faithful changing table ready for another baby". There was a pink cover on it, all new supplies and pink and floral print blankets, and everything I felt I needed on the changing table for my girl who I knew would be here this week. My appointment was the next day and I knew we'd either be going in for induction Wednesday or Thursday unless she came before then on her own but there were no signs. I think about this pic all the time because other than one more picture of my little Shadey sleeping in a Benadryl induced coma(he had an allergic black eye at the time and I was peeved because he'd have a black eye for our first pics with our girl), this was the last pic on my IG/fb before Emma came and went. My last picture before my life changed. My last photo of innocence. I deleted my Facebook 3 days later on 9/4. I couldn't take everyone's "problems" and petty issues. I thought about this picture every time I scrolled  back. I still do. Time to time I'll go through pictures of the before. Before I knew this life. Before my innocence was stripped away. Before our lives were turned upside down and dumped off a cliff. That's what it feels like. Like you're on a swinging bridge and someone blows the end off it. You feel the jolt, the jolt of 0 Gs, that feeling you know you're falling and there's nothing you can do about it. Complete and utter loss of control. #whathealsyou #captureyourgrief #carlymarie #projectheal