Day 27 - Self Portrait - {Project Capture Your Grief}

Day 27 - Self Portrait - {Project Capture Your Grief} 

This is a self portrait that I've chosen to use for the project. It's nothing special. I'd have taken one today, but I didn't want to give myself the chance to nitpick about it. If I could draw or paint I'd create a self portrait that was Instagram worthy. But I cannot. The new me, has suffered beyond imagination and hid it from most people. The me I know has been irrevocably changed. The new me is a better person. A person who is able to try to forgive. A more patient person. What I feel a kinder and more compassionate person. A better nurse. A better mother. I miss my innocence. And no, at almost 30, I didn't have much left, but my loss robbed me of one of the last pieces of innocence I had. I want that innocence back. But it won't come, we know that.  Overall, if you could take the fact that I lost my daughter to stillbirth out of the equation, you'd say this has improved Amberly. But one shouldn't have to suffer like we have to have improved a small portion of their being. I'm doing big things for my baby girl and it's because the new me is ambitious beyond the old me's wildest dreams. And I didn't lack ambition before. The new me can literally do anything. Let me tell you that if you have walked, talked, and lived your biggest nightmare on a daily basis... You CAN do anything. You know that the consequences are far less than what you've already experienced (without the loss of another child included). You know that, hey... How bad can it be? If I did this, it's only gotta be a piece of cake. #projectheal #captureyourgrief