Day 12 - Normalizing Grief - {Project Capture Your Grief}

Day 12 - Normalizing Grief - {Project Capture Your Grief} - I often feel like the odd man out in life because I'm always grieving. I feel like some people expect me to be over it. Truth be told, I'll never be over it - ever. Some people don't agree with how we choose to grieve. But it's so personalized. There's no timeline. I look at Emma's pictures on my phone every night before I fall asleep and I kiss one of my favorite pictures goodnight and ask her to visit me in my dreams. I color in an adult coloring book. I add pieces of yellow to my house. I smoked cigarettes when I knew a panic attack was coming (before I was pregnant). Sometimes I smoked just to know I was doing something stupid. {when everything feels like the movies, yeah you'd bleed just to know you're alive) I stress ate. I sometimes didn't eat at all. I poured myself into work and spent more time away from my family working OT to keep myself distracted. I contemplated letting go of the wheel. The idea Letting go felt good. But I didn't.  I blog. I go sit in the waiting room at work and stare at the coffee machine because it makes me feel. Makes me remember the last spot I had a sliver of hope that was just me fooling myself. We all grieve differently but we're all grieving and no one way is right. This is a very personal part of me not many people know. But if it normalizes grief for only one other person- it's worth me sharing. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyou