Nobody knows

The silent battles i fight on a daily basis. I've just really had a shitty day basically. I just had a silent, mini breakdown over the fact that i had to erase September on the dry erase board calendar on the fridge so that i could make October.   Every passing day i do something  like that. I saved the 2nd for last. I almost couldnt erase it. Even though all it said was dr appt 1pm and there was a little check mark by it indicating i had went. I had planned on coming home and making a big decorated fancy drawing on whatever day i was supposed to be induced. Like i do for birthdays and notable occasions on my calendar. But all was there was a checkmark. I took a big, deep, shaky breath and erased it. Wish i could just do that with my sadness.
It was still so hard.
Everything is still so hard.
Shew.