1 week

Yesterday was a week since Emma was born and passed.

4:51 pm.

I'm not even sure what I was doing at that time. Visiting with some family that was here I think.

The sidewalk is finished now except it needs to set up and dry. I wish Emma was here for that, we could put her little foot print in it.  Shade is everything but refusing to put his hand prints in it, he's being a weirdo. I wanted them to play with sidewalk chalk together and watch the leaves fall on it together.

I've never wanted to have a little life inside my belly so bad. As a mother, my womb aches for a child. I guess because things were left somewhat unfinished.  That's all I can figure.

Some coworkers stopped by yesterday with some gifts. Enough so that we will be able to totally take care of Emma's head stone for her grave. And then maggie brought a love gift from some of Tommy's family. I can't believe the kindness that has been shown over this past week. And i know money isn't important but I am just taken back by all of it. I could never repay everyone. My faith in humanity has been restored for the most part. It's like I told someone else though, I'd rather have my perfect baby girl here, and still hate people, though.

I have to take Shade for his 3 year old well child checkup and possibly a dental checkup tomorrow. I figured since it has been a few days since we've been out that will help our cabin fever a bit, and it needs to be done.

I can't quit looking at Emma's pictures. She is just so perfect. I just never thought I'd be without her once I knew she was coming.