Just one more thing for today..

I had a thought while Shadey and me and tommy were laying in bed on this rainy morning. It's Sunday.  If things had went the way they were supposed to, we'd have just been getting home probably yesterday and this likely would've been our first morning home just the 4 of us.  And normally I hate rain but a rainy morning in would've been nice.  Just me and my two boys and our sweet Emma. But there was a big chunk missing, of course. We shouldve all 4 been laying here in bed.  There's plenty of room. And sometimes it feels crowded in here, even in this house it does. But for now it feels so empty. As empty as a desert.

Another thing is I'm glad that Emma was with us whenever we took Shadey to his very first movie in the theater. Not sure she cared much for it, but she was there.

And one last thing and I'll try not to blog again today. The last blog I posted before all this happened was 5 days before we were supposed to meet Emma. And the last sentence of the blog said "if I don't blog again before September 3rd, I'll be a mommy of two." And the whole blog was kind of me grieving and worrying about how I'd adjust to two children and not knowing how I'd love two children instead of one.  Oh what I wouldn't give to be struggling with taking care of two children. I'd give the world. Hopefully one day soon. Then the next blog, coincidentally, was on September 3rd. And it was me grieving again. Only over the loss.