First postpartum checkup...

So here I am in the same place I was just 6 days ago. To check up on Emma. Except this time, I'm checking up on me. And my incision. Which magically as we pulled into Manchester l noticed drainage from it that soaked into my pants. Wtf? It's not done anything like that ever and now here I am for my check up and it's all drainy and gross. Hopefully nothing is wrong. All I know is til I get pregnant again, these pregnant people are just making me envious and sad. Even if some of them look cracked out. Which is just sad. Your typical, I never wanted this pregnancy and won't give the child a good life situation and I am here grieving the loss of my sweet baby girl and aching to be with child again. But I don't know for sure that the people I see are like that. I just know it happens.  I hope he can give us the go ahead to try again. Or tell us when we can. I need that in my life. I wanted to hold new life in my arms so badly and just won't be able to stand it until I can.  I wish it was my sweet Emma. But since that cannot be.... well.

So to update ... our appointment went well. Considering, ya know. He said the pathology report from delivery had not came back yet but we don't expect anything to come from it anyway, or at least nothing definitive.  He wants to test me at 6 weeks for a clotting disorder, just in case. He said physically she was perfect and he couldn't figure a reason as to why this would've happened. I also asked him if he had reviewed her anatomy scan from 20 weeks and he said nothing was wrong with it. So we may never know for sure. But my incision was okay. He cleaned it and put new steristrips on part of it because it had started draining a bit but he said it looked great. 

Best part about my visit was he said that we could start trying to get pregnant again soon. He recommended 3 months - but he said if it happened sooner, we should be fine. So with that being said, soon as I get a handle on when my cycles are, hopefully we will be pregnant again very very soon! He told me to go aheqd and start on folic acid 400mcg a day, so i bought some today and took it with lunch. God knows I ache in my heart for another little girl. But whatever God blesses us with is what we will have.

It feels good to have his approval, though. Medically of course. Dr Sink has been so incredibly good to us. And for that were thankful. I know it'll be hard on my body but it'll be well worth it.