Compassion
Today I was thanked by a NILMDTS client. For talking her into taking photos with her child. Her only child who had just been born silently into the world. If not for me she wouldn't have hardly any photos of her baby. She didn't want to take them at the time, and wasn't sure why, but now that the fog has lifted for her a bit, a little over 5 weeks into her loss journey, now she knows how important this is. I only said the things I said out of pure compassion and love for her and her situation and raw grief and experience. She thanked me, over and over, and is truly grateful. There is not much more rewarding than that, to give back to someone in need. This is a healing experience for me, from the inside out. That day before I left, I leaned down to this person, and told them something that I hope they took heed to. And I cried as I said it for the first time that day. Even through countless other tears falling, I held it together in true 'me' fashion-- until then. But it was only because these words were so near to me. "Don't you let them take her until you're ready. That's your baby, and you hold her until YOU are ready to hand her over. There are no rules. This is only one time and you can't make it up."
Yesterday I comforted a patient's grandmother. She was scared, and then at that point after the patient had been transported, alone. Of course I would never breech HIPAA, but it was very healing for me. She was standing there with her walker, and her knee in a brace from a previous knee injury and surgery. She could barely stand for being so scared, sad, and alone. The hospital's chaplain was there, but this was out of his league. I told her that the patient was in the best hands, and that they would be okay. I never tell anyone that someone will be okay. Its not common practice. She was sobbing. I put my hand on her shoulder. She put her arm on my shoulder and braced herself on me, her knees were buckling under her and the crying was about to take her to the floor, and I know that feeling. She buried her head into my shoulder, so I put my other arm around her and I put my head next to hers and my chin on her opposite shoulder and just let her cry. I then convinced her to sit down. Standing isn't going to do her any good or the patient either, they were in the air now, in the great care of the flight crew staff & then the next facility they were en route to. So she moved back to a room and sat down until her family came to get her so they could go to the next facility to be there for the patient. It was a scary situation for a family, I know how it is...
The chaplain then thanked me, as he was at a loss at what else to say, what else to do. There was not anything else to say. Only do... and sometimes, as outside of my comfort zone as it is, only the true touch of someone with compassion toward you will help.
I know what its like to be that scared, more scared, for your own family/child/etc. To know you're going to lose them (or at least be completely convinced). There is nothing to say, words fail you, and it is then and only then you have to figure out where to go next.
Although outside of my comfort zone, this was healing for me. I provided true COMPASSION, something I've always had, but not always so good at showing.
Everyone knows I'm not a huggy person. But that was well deserved.
xoxo
Yesterday I comforted a patient's grandmother. She was scared, and then at that point after the patient had been transported, alone. Of course I would never breech HIPAA, but it was very healing for me. She was standing there with her walker, and her knee in a brace from a previous knee injury and surgery. She could barely stand for being so scared, sad, and alone. The hospital's chaplain was there, but this was out of his league. I told her that the patient was in the best hands, and that they would be okay. I never tell anyone that someone will be okay. Its not common practice. She was sobbing. I put my hand on her shoulder. She put her arm on my shoulder and braced herself on me, her knees were buckling under her and the crying was about to take her to the floor, and I know that feeling. She buried her head into my shoulder, so I put my other arm around her and I put my head next to hers and my chin on her opposite shoulder and just let her cry. I then convinced her to sit down. Standing isn't going to do her any good or the patient either, they were in the air now, in the great care of the flight crew staff & then the next facility they were en route to. So she moved back to a room and sat down until her family came to get her so they could go to the next facility to be there for the patient. It was a scary situation for a family, I know how it is...
The chaplain then thanked me, as he was at a loss at what else to say, what else to do. There was not anything else to say. Only do... and sometimes, as outside of my comfort zone as it is, only the true touch of someone with compassion toward you will help.
I know what its like to be that scared, more scared, for your own family/child/etc. To know you're going to lose them (or at least be completely convinced). There is nothing to say, words fail you, and it is then and only then you have to figure out where to go next.
Although outside of my comfort zone, this was healing for me. I provided true COMPASSION, something I've always had, but not always so good at showing.
Everyone knows I'm not a huggy person. But that was well deserved.
xoxo
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