Forty Six Weeks

I don't have time hop, and I always tell Facebook to go die when it brings up my 1 year ago memories. But sometimes I realize just how coincidental it is the way time works. Like today, mom and I put the cover on Emma's car seat that Isaac will use (boy color instead of her girly cover).  I didn't install it in my car, BUT- I did get it ready. That wedding that always reminds me of Emma and end of summers approach... Was about a year ago and I took that money I made at that wedding (what was still owed anyway) and put it toward her car seat. 

Same seat. Two different covers. 52 weeks ago. 

And today I'm wearing a shirt that reminds me of Emma- I bought it the Friday before she was born when we had our last little outing with friends that night. 

I haven't bought anything new for her grave lately. But like for instance yesterday I bought 3 yellow dish towels, and yellow curtains for the walk in closet in the bedroom. I'm always trying to incorporate yellow in places in our home because it reminds me of her. And when we went to somerset and stopped by short creek for a walk, of course I see the ever so popular purple and yellow combo of flowers next to each other in nature. 

I worked on some things for Isaac's shower today with mom. 

Shade and Tommy made these cute sighs while I was making this cake topper and scrap booking. 

I'm sure it'll look better on an actual cake. 

We went to the river and played today. I just needed to be outside. It's been a long week. 

It was a refreshing little outing. And free. And we all had a good time. 

My Monday is on a Monday this week. I only work 3, thankfully. Then I'm off for two and then I work Saturday. Then Jessi's baby shower for Eli is Sunday. Hard to believe it's that time already.  

...Then mine for Isaac is 20 days from then! Time is slowing down though. Very slowly. 

I'm just pushing through at this point. There's plenty more id love to do this summer but I'm just not sure we're going to have time! Shade loves to be outside so I just try to get him out as much as I can. There's so much to be done around the house that really needs to be done and it's a slow process. Hopefully we can make a dent in it over the next few weeks because my nesting and anxiety among other things impending needing done will get to me eventually. 

Shade had his 4 year old checkup and shots. He weighed about 34lbs and was 39" tall. Poor fella is in the 59% lol!! He got his blood drawn with a finger stick and two shots. we had to give him some ibuprofen that night as he got a little warm, but other than that he's been asymptomatic. He did so well- I'm so proud of him. 

It breaks my heart and swells it at the same time that he will be starting school in just a few weeks. 

He even got his first backpack. 

Poor me!! I just hope I can manage to be there with my work schedule as much as possible for him the first few weeks. 

Only a couple days until another Tuesday since I'm late writing this one. 

I feel like I don't do enough for my baby girl anymore. As time goes by, there's like less and less new things I can do because she's not here. I try to do things myself whether or not people even notice. 

I can tell you that being a mother is hard enough. Always wondering what you're doing wrong. Mothering a child that is no longer here on earth? 10x harder. 

Xoxo