44, 45, and rounding the corner to 46.
Will I ever be able to stop counting the Tuesdays? Not likely. It is hard to believe that in 3 days, there will have been 46 weeks between me and the last time we laid eyes on our baby girl.
This week(s)' blog won't be very interesting, likely, and no photos, because I am blogging from work. I have slacked. In my defense, I have not had many days off. I have been working overtime most weeks, including today, is my overtime shift for the week.
After I knock these 4 shifts out, this is shift 1 of 4, I will have 5 days off. 5 days off of no homework hopefully. Maybe a little photo editing, since I have one shoot in queue and a wedding in there too. I may have a shoot or two on my days off as well but I plan on trying to get outside and enjoy myself with my boys. I am trying to make a little extra bank to make a trip to Lexington to find something nice to wear for my shower and maternity pictures between now and August 22, but I am going to dial it back a bit once that's done because I don't want a huge back log and a bunch of appointments in September, with all my scans and NSTs and Shade's school starting, I just won't have time.
It has done nothing but RAIN and STORM for the past 2 weeks. Granted we only lost power for a whole day, and there was so much flooding and devastation a couple counties over, Johnson county being the worst, where 3 people total have perished so far.
We've had 2 clear days since then, and yesterday even the electric was off for 2 hours of the evening, they must've been working on it. It stormed around 3am this morning-- of course that woke me up and I was unable to drift off once I had woken. Thoughts of everything clouding my mind, and being entirely too uncomfortable to go back to sleep.
I did manage to do a little 'nesting' this week on my 2 days off, and I cleaned out the cabinets over by the coffee maker/fridge in the kitchen, so we can utilize / move the stuff in the small cabinet by the dishwasher for baby stuff like bottles and so on. I also finished up proofing an overdue photo session for someone, lol.
The diaper bag Wanda ordered for me came in Wednesday and I love it. I have had a hankering notion to pack his bag. But I am trying to wait until we finish cleaning out the boys' room. I have to plan a day between mom and I to do this so she can use Dad's truck to haul the train table and some other things that are in Shade's room that don't need to be for a while. I have a feeling it'll be much easier to get out of our bed for me once we move the toddler bed back into Shade's room. I highly doubt anyone will sleep in it..... ya know? hahaha. Shade has 'his spot' and he refuses to give it up.
Shade spent every evening from 6-8 this week at vacation bible school making crafts and learning things. I know he enjoyed himself. I scheduled his 4 year old shots and checkup for head start. I also have underway getting his vision checked and he will have his dental exam @ the head start center since we don't have dental insurance, they pay for it, thankfully. I was starting to stress. I read on the paper that they do home visits...and then like the 3rd week in August, they start school. I am soooo not ready. I am having 2nd thoughts even because he will have to get up early and I don't want to ruin my late sleeping baby :(
I need to visit Emma's grave after all this rain and storm stuff. I need to do a lot of things.
I sure miss her. I feel so far from everything. Like to everyone else its all blown over. Not to me. I almost wish people would bring it up more. It would make me think maybe they hadn't forgotten her. We always mention her at home but other than that...its like everyone has almost forgotten? I dunno.
I know I will never forget. She lives in my heart so close to me.
<3 xoxo
This week(s)' blog won't be very interesting, likely, and no photos, because I am blogging from work. I have slacked. In my defense, I have not had many days off. I have been working overtime most weeks, including today, is my overtime shift for the week.
After I knock these 4 shifts out, this is shift 1 of 4, I will have 5 days off. 5 days off of no homework hopefully. Maybe a little photo editing, since I have one shoot in queue and a wedding in there too. I may have a shoot or two on my days off as well but I plan on trying to get outside and enjoy myself with my boys. I am trying to make a little extra bank to make a trip to Lexington to find something nice to wear for my shower and maternity pictures between now and August 22, but I am going to dial it back a bit once that's done because I don't want a huge back log and a bunch of appointments in September, with all my scans and NSTs and Shade's school starting, I just won't have time.
It has done nothing but RAIN and STORM for the past 2 weeks. Granted we only lost power for a whole day, and there was so much flooding and devastation a couple counties over, Johnson county being the worst, where 3 people total have perished so far.
We've had 2 clear days since then, and yesterday even the electric was off for 2 hours of the evening, they must've been working on it. It stormed around 3am this morning-- of course that woke me up and I was unable to drift off once I had woken. Thoughts of everything clouding my mind, and being entirely too uncomfortable to go back to sleep.
I did manage to do a little 'nesting' this week on my 2 days off, and I cleaned out the cabinets over by the coffee maker/fridge in the kitchen, so we can utilize / move the stuff in the small cabinet by the dishwasher for baby stuff like bottles and so on. I also finished up proofing an overdue photo session for someone, lol.
The diaper bag Wanda ordered for me came in Wednesday and I love it. I have had a hankering notion to pack his bag. But I am trying to wait until we finish cleaning out the boys' room. I have to plan a day between mom and I to do this so she can use Dad's truck to haul the train table and some other things that are in Shade's room that don't need to be for a while. I have a feeling it'll be much easier to get out of our bed for me once we move the toddler bed back into Shade's room. I highly doubt anyone will sleep in it..... ya know? hahaha. Shade has 'his spot' and he refuses to give it up.
Shade spent every evening from 6-8 this week at vacation bible school making crafts and learning things. I know he enjoyed himself. I scheduled his 4 year old shots and checkup for head start. I also have underway getting his vision checked and he will have his dental exam @ the head start center since we don't have dental insurance, they pay for it, thankfully. I was starting to stress. I read on the paper that they do home visits...and then like the 3rd week in August, they start school. I am soooo not ready. I am having 2nd thoughts even because he will have to get up early and I don't want to ruin my late sleeping baby :(
I need to visit Emma's grave after all this rain and storm stuff. I need to do a lot of things.
I sure miss her. I feel so far from everything. Like to everyone else its all blown over. Not to me. I almost wish people would bring it up more. It would make me think maybe they hadn't forgotten her. We always mention her at home but other than that...its like everyone has almost forgotten? I dunno.
I know I will never forget. She lives in my heart so close to me.
<3 xoxo
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