How To Kill A Polar Bear...
"First you punch it, then you knife it."
This, according to Shade, is how you kill a polar bear. When it is snowing out, and Tommy has to go outside, he always bribes Shade not to come with him with this. And when it's not snowing out, its "there are wolves" outside. That above is what he had to say about it this evening.
Then, he followed up with "You can't knife a cat daddy, that is bery bery mean. It doesn't have some more sense!"
He has been crazy all day. I truly love all these little 2 1/2 year old moments. I wish I could just freeze him in time, honestly. I know he won't stay like this. There will be a time when he's silly, in a different way. When he doesn't say "you're my best friend, mommy." or "here's your favorite boy, mommy!" or want to snuggle me whenever Tommy leaves for work of the mornings. He will be off with his friends, telling me he hates me... etc.
He just finished up a round of antibiotics for a nasty URI today. He ate so well. He didn't eat a great breakfast, but had plenty of mac & cheese, mixed veggies, baby carrots, and juice for lunch. And then he had a turkey dog, left over mac & cheese from lunch, whole green beans, part of an apple, and two little cuties oranges for supper. He even "helped" me clean up the kitchen after dinner (steak with mushrooms, baked potatoes, & whole green beans) ... and when I put the leftover green beans in a container, he stood there forever while I was washing some dishes and cleaning the counters picking green beans out of the container and eating them.
He makes every day worth it. Even when I feel like I dunno how we're gonna make it past this month, and that I will never find a nursing job I like or feel like I fit in at or am useful in, while I am applying for things like data entry and call centers, thinking that maybe I should just do this until I find my niche, if that's something I ever find. All of this while I just finished up a scholarly paper for my 2nd semester of Bachelor of Nursing... its all so ironic. Not knowing how I am going to manage to pay bills past the month of March because there's no more tax returns, what little we got back, and no more student loan because I've lived off it for 2 months, and I've pretty much used all the payment arrangements with all the companies we have things with during this time. Even then, I can be with Shade and things are okay. We can go to the park or walk outside on the porch and be happy, because he doesn't know anything about any of this. He knows mommy and daddy will protect him and provide for him no matter what. And that is all he will ever have to know if I have anything to do w/ it.
It just sucks that after 2 years of hell aka nursing school, and so much debt because of it in student loans, and they're only climbing because I'm continuing my education...that I'm here. Unemployed, and with ZERO jobs knocking at my door to hire me in the nursing field. I refuse to go back to night shift, I don't want to ruin my unborn child with that ridiculous, unhealthy schedule. Broke. Can't pay the bills with one salary, how nice it must be to just stay at home with your children and be even just comfortable finance-wise with just one person working. If we could do that, I would always keep the house clean, dinner cooked, laundry done, do my photography and be happy with it. But unfortunately since we didn't get born into rich parents/family, like some people, we just can't do that, everything is financed and everything has a payment. We have more bills than income at this point. And no, I'm not working now, and yes we've been scraping by, but once that extra threshold of money is gone, we won't be able to anymore without something getting turned off or something getting taken. And I can't get motivated to get any cleaning, housework, or laundry done, because I'm always too worried about money. Lose lose situation.
Anyway, this was supposed to be a happy post about Shade... and that it is... but I always think about Shade growing up cramped in a tiny house and broke, and it makes me so depressed that so far I haven't been able to give him better. Makes me feel like a bad mother. And to think I am bringing another child into this? I know I have plans to build on, plans to not be broke, but that's all they are right now. Plans. And until they're in motion by some miracle.... that's all they'll ever be. :\
This, according to Shade, is how you kill a polar bear. When it is snowing out, and Tommy has to go outside, he always bribes Shade not to come with him with this. And when it's not snowing out, its "there are wolves" outside. That above is what he had to say about it this evening.
Then, he followed up with "You can't knife a cat daddy, that is bery bery mean. It doesn't have some more sense!"
He has been crazy all day. I truly love all these little 2 1/2 year old moments. I wish I could just freeze him in time, honestly. I know he won't stay like this. There will be a time when he's silly, in a different way. When he doesn't say "you're my best friend, mommy." or "here's your favorite boy, mommy!" or want to snuggle me whenever Tommy leaves for work of the mornings. He will be off with his friends, telling me he hates me... etc.
He just finished up a round of antibiotics for a nasty URI today. He ate so well. He didn't eat a great breakfast, but had plenty of mac & cheese, mixed veggies, baby carrots, and juice for lunch. And then he had a turkey dog, left over mac & cheese from lunch, whole green beans, part of an apple, and two little cuties oranges for supper. He even "helped" me clean up the kitchen after dinner (steak with mushrooms, baked potatoes, & whole green beans) ... and when I put the leftover green beans in a container, he stood there forever while I was washing some dishes and cleaning the counters picking green beans out of the container and eating them.
He makes every day worth it. Even when I feel like I dunno how we're gonna make it past this month, and that I will never find a nursing job I like or feel like I fit in at or am useful in, while I am applying for things like data entry and call centers, thinking that maybe I should just do this until I find my niche, if that's something I ever find. All of this while I just finished up a scholarly paper for my 2nd semester of Bachelor of Nursing... its all so ironic. Not knowing how I am going to manage to pay bills past the month of March because there's no more tax returns, what little we got back, and no more student loan because I've lived off it for 2 months, and I've pretty much used all the payment arrangements with all the companies we have things with during this time. Even then, I can be with Shade and things are okay. We can go to the park or walk outside on the porch and be happy, because he doesn't know anything about any of this. He knows mommy and daddy will protect him and provide for him no matter what. And that is all he will ever have to know if I have anything to do w/ it.
It just sucks that after 2 years of hell aka nursing school, and so much debt because of it in student loans, and they're only climbing because I'm continuing my education...that I'm here. Unemployed, and with ZERO jobs knocking at my door to hire me in the nursing field. I refuse to go back to night shift, I don't want to ruin my unborn child with that ridiculous, unhealthy schedule. Broke. Can't pay the bills with one salary, how nice it must be to just stay at home with your children and be even just comfortable finance-wise with just one person working. If we could do that, I would always keep the house clean, dinner cooked, laundry done, do my photography and be happy with it. But unfortunately since we didn't get born into rich parents/family, like some people, we just can't do that, everything is financed and everything has a payment. We have more bills than income at this point. And no, I'm not working now, and yes we've been scraping by, but once that extra threshold of money is gone, we won't be able to anymore without something getting turned off or something getting taken. And I can't get motivated to get any cleaning, housework, or laundry done, because I'm always too worried about money. Lose lose situation.
Anyway, this was supposed to be a happy post about Shade... and that it is... but I always think about Shade growing up cramped in a tiny house and broke, and it makes me so depressed that so far I haven't been able to give him better. Makes me feel like a bad mother. And to think I am bringing another child into this? I know I have plans to build on, plans to not be broke, but that's all they are right now. Plans. And until they're in motion by some miracle.... that's all they'll ever be. :\
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